I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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