You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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