I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
