She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
