I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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