Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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