i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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