apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
