yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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