I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
