I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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