Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
