I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
