She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize