I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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