So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
