everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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