Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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