And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
