I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize