And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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