I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
