Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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