I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
