Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
