Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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