My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
