garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
