The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
