I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize