just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Randomize
