I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
