i already hear my dad disowning me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
