just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
