I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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