Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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