oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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