I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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