oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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