We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
