Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
