I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
