dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
