I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
