Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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