He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
