Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
