we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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