Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
