I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
