She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
People in love make me want to vomit
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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