you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
