ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
