My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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