Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
