What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
