I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
