We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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