i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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