I puked a lego.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
