Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
