Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
