ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
