covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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