Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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