Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
