he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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