What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
