The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
