I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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