just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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