He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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