we have pet lesbian snakes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
