I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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