i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
