Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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