Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
