Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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