are you still at the devil's house?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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