Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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