I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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