We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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