he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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