If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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