At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he puts the penis in happiness.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
