Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
